Leaning Not on My Own Understanding

Young man praying facing the wall.

My Story

My name is Kivonte H. and I am a 23-year-old graduate of the University of Indianapolis. In May, I am the second man in my immediate family to graduate from a four year university and Lord willing, the first to pursue my master’s degree. In the first testimony we will discuss my journey leading up to this point. The recurring theme across my testimonies is the importance of God’s will.

Prior to attending the University of Indianapolis, I lived in Chicago and attended Marist High School; a private catholic high school located on the south side of Chicago. In my youth, I would occasionally attend church with my god-aunt, but I was not raised in the church. A lot of the things I learned about the world was through the experiences of the people closest to me at the time ( my family, friends, and teammates). I became aware of the environment I was born in, and hidden from. As I grew older, I understood why in Luke 16 it spoke of the wisdom the children of the world had that the children of the light did not. But I thank God for being a constant light in the midst of darkness. My parents always taught me what not to do based on the mistakes they made. Although, it did not prevent me from making those very same mistakes.

God Was Moving Before I Chose Him

When I entered into my senior year of high school all I could think about was getting a football scholarship. I knew without a scholarship my desire to attend college would be small. I didn’t want to be a financial burden to my family nor leave college with hundreds of thousands of dollars in student loans. I had already made up my mind that if I didn’t get a scholarship I would find another means to pay for college. The only other option I could think of was to join the army. Similar to my mother’s experience going to the Navy before I was old enough to attend school. What is interesting about this situation is that I faced a similar one when going to high school. If you’re familiar with private schools, you know that they aren’t free. And Marist is one of the most prestigious private schools in the state of Illinois. Prior to attending Marist, a friend of the family recommended a scholarship that helped inner city students attend private schools in Chicago. I applied and was accepted into their program. Not only did they provide scholarships to attend private schools, but they assisted in our professional development and provided us with academic courses during the summer to help us be prepared in the classroom. I say all of this to say: God has been moving in my life long before I came to Him.

The Results of My Own Understanding

Though this was an exciting moment for me, I entered college during one of the most volatile times this country has ever experienced: the COVID-19 pandemic. This not only affected my college experience but it also put a halt to all athletic activities. This meant no football nor online classes, which for me, was a recipe for disaster. With this new found freedom and no real responsibilities, I did whatever I wanted. I participated in college nightlife and everything associated with it. I started to realize something that was one of the most dangerous thoughts someone could have: Why would I EVER listen to anyone else? I have the ability to do whatever I want, whenever I want. In my mind I had convinced myself that this was the life of a college student. However, I was extremely wrong and began to experience the consequences of leaning on my own understanding. I felt unmotivated to do or finish anything. I was constantly involved in situations that were a direct result of my selfish actions and poor decision making. When COVID settled down, and football resumed, I was not performing my best on the field either.

Prayer for Wisdom and Direction

When reflecting back on this time I think of Proverbs 3:5-7. In Proverbs chapter 3, Solomon is speaking about the importance and rewards of wisdom. In verse 5 he states: “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding”. In verse 6 he continues by saying: “In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths”. And lastly, in verse 7 he states: “Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil”. In those three verses, Solomon helped us see not only why we shouldn’t lean on our own understanding, but that when we trust and acknowledge God He will direct our paths.. When I finally understood that and became obedient to these verses, it brought about an immense amount of peace. I now know that the Alpha and Omega, the Prince of Peace, the ‘I am’, the one who took on flesh and overcame the world will direct my paths when I obey and do the commands explained in His word.

I Am Thankful My Plan Didn’t Become My Reality

As I mentioned in the beginning, each of these testimonies show the recurring theme of the importance of God’s will. It started with him making a way for me to go to high school on a scholarship, providing a scholarship for college, and even when I was living in sin, showing me the error of my ways and saving me. The way in which all of this has happened was not due to my own understanding, my own strength, or my parents’ experiences. It was because of the mercy and reproof of my Father, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It was Him who brought me out of the darkness and revealed to me the deceitful nature of the world and the enemy who dwells in it.

Thank you Jesus, in Jesus name we will overcome. God Bless.

As you consider this testimony today, it's okay to be thankful when nothing goes according to your plan. Be sure to check out the PRESS Movement Podcast episode, "How to Pray Your Plan vs God's Plan".